My Imperfect Life

I have soooo many Before Pictures. Pictures of my giant Santa belly. Pictures of Sun Spots on my face. Pictures of my incredibly disorganized closet.
These pictures are supposed to be followed up by After Pictures.
After pictures that show how I started that diet plan to shrink my belly fat. Pictures of where I followed a rigorous skin routine to smooth out those dark spots. Pictures that show an immaculately organized closet.
I'm waiting on those pictures to share with you.
But those pictures aren't coming.
Y'all, I have to be real. I'm a big giant mess!

Yesterday, I was having a hard day, so I called my Daddy. I knew I could get some clarity from him. And I just needed to hear his voice. I shared my problems with him. And he gave me some great advice.

Today, I was struggling with some things, and I sought out help from a close friend.

This week, I plan to get together for lunch with someone I know will lift my spirits.

Through all of this, God has shown me- I was not put on this earth to create a perfect life, but to share my imperfect life with others! It has brought me so much closer with them!

So, here's to all of you out there with tons of Before Pictures. You are not alone. Share your story with those around you. We are all in this Big Giant Mess together!

What I Need Most

8:00 am, I wake up to a text from a lifeguard confused about the time her shift begins.
I NEED to make the next schedule more clear.

Ford crawls in our bed. "When are you going to make me breakfast?"
I NEED to teach him how to work the toaster.

Barely able to stand in my closet, I sort through piles of skirts and shorts that no longer fit.
I NEED to clean this out, buy new clothes... lose ten pounds.

Daddy's present lies unwrapped on the counter.
I NEED to mail that... three days ago.

On a short drive, the needs pile on.
I NEED to
go to the grocery store,
get a haircut,
plant some stuff,
organize a gazillion pictures,
teach Ford to swim,
sign Alice up for dance camp,
repaint the retina-burning kitchen,
call my mother.

I NEED to plan a vacation.

My head and shoulders stoop. My eyelids droop.
Stepping out of the car, I grab my purse. It overflows with receipts, Chick-Fil-A napkins, a credit card bill, hairbows, a  rock (?), bouncy balls, and 43 pens.

I NEED to get my life together.

I take three, slow, heavy steps... and then... I lift my face to the open doors of Christus Victor Lutheran Church. I see warm smiles, familiar faces and the towering cross that marks this holy place.
Walking taller, eyes brighter, heart lighter, I quickly realize
THIS is what I NEED most of all.

"And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

Matthew 28:20

The C is still there!

I left the Y professionally when my daughter was born. Now that my son has entered school, I have been able to focus more on my career.

A lot can change in ten years.

Today, the world is paralyzed by the fear of offending anyone. I was concerned about the organization that raised me and is ingrained in my being. Had they begun to tiptoe through this politically correct society? I worried that the "C" had become diluted and that the very fundamentals of the YMCA were compromised.

This afternoon, the CEO of the YMCA of Columbia spoke at our branch. He shared with us his vision for our future and the communities in which we serve. With a plan to strengthen our dedication to Youth Development, Healthy Living and Social Responsibility, so many exciting things are in store.

But the part of his speech that gave me the most hope and has rekindled my spirit and love for the Y was his emphasis on our mission:

To put Christian principles into practice through programs that build a healthy spirit, mind and body for all.

Christian Principles: Caring, Honesty, Respect, Responsibility and Faith.

THIS is what separates us from the gyms, the health clubs, the government-funded programs.

THIS is what has pulled me into its warm embrace from the age of 5.

THIS is where I plan to raise my children, spend my time and devote my energy.

The C is still there, and for that, I thank God!

I Love You More Than...

My favorite game to play with my children:

"I Love You More Than..."

Me: "I love you more than the earth"

Alice: "I love you more than the solar system"

Me: "I love you more than the universe!"

Whoah!

Ford: "I love you more than fishing"

Me: "I love you more than chocolate"

Ford: "I love you more than a 10-lb bass!"

Whoah!

I played this game with Ford tonight while cooking dinner and checking Facebook.

Me: "I love you more than tacos"

Ford: "I love you more than gummy worms"

Me: "I love you more than the YMCA"

Ford: "I love you more than Chuck E Cheese."

I scrolled down my newsfeed to see: pictures of the Harbins at the beach, political ravings, reports of sunny weather and no rain (thank goodness!), funny pictures found on Pinterest, and an advertisement of the upcoming Grey's Anatomy season premier.

Ford: "It's your turn, Mommy."

I glance up to see my precious son waiting in anticipation for my next move. Placing my phone on the counter, I pick up my sweet boy, squeeze him tight, and say,

"I love you more than my phone!"

Whoah!

Sparklies on the Water

The view from the porch is frightening.
At the bottom of the sloping back yard lies a large pond. I tighten my grip on our infant son. It would only take an instant, that split second I get distracted. One of them could tumble into the water, disappear under the murky surface and be gone forever.

"No way can we buy this house."

Alice skips through the door towards us, and my heart jumps. I'm thankful for the screen barrier between her and the dangerous body of water.
"Sparklies!" she gasps. "Pretty!"
And that's when I see them. A gentle breeze ripples over the water while the sun shines on the crests creating hundreds of twinkling lights. It's as if God tossed a handful of diamonds, skipping them across the surface. The tiny flashes of light turn the deep, terrifying hole into a magical showcase of gems. Beautiful! How did I not see them?

The view from the porch is miraculous.
Five years later, the pond no longer fills me with fear but restores my soul. The sparklies are still there. God continues to spread the gems before me, and thanks to Alice, I can see them.

"I'm glad we bought this house."

This Year Will Be Different

Every year, my New Year's Resolutions go a little something like this.
Dec. 31: I resolve to-
1. Clean up the entire house and always keep it neat and tidy.
2. Remain patient and calm with my children, never raising my voice.
3. Cut out all refined carbs from my diet.

Jan. 1:
I start out cleaning my closet. In five minutes, I am sitting in a pile of old pictures and notes from my BFF from City Park Elementary laughing until I cry.
Within a few hours I have yelled at my children three times and my husband once, because OMG I need chocolate!!!
My diet goes well until, oh, about lunch. Then I dig up every piece that I can find of Christmas, Halloween, and Easter candy (yes, there is still some of that in my house).

This year is going to be different. My resolutions will be a little less constricting and hopefully easier to accomplish. I plan to TOP it off in 2013!
Next year, I resolve to be more:
Thoughtful - Write a note of thanks/encouragement/love to one person every day.
Organized - Execute one project from Pinterest a month to help make my household run smoother. I think I have pinned around 40,000 ideas and have tried 3. So 12 will be quite an accomplishment.
Punctual - This is where the previous two will be useful.

Let's hope this will last past lunchtime tomorrow! :0)

Happy New Year Everyone! May your 2013 be truly blessed!

I Went Straight

I sat at the stoplight. To the right were a gazillion errands- Goodwill, grocery store, Christmas shopping. Straight ahead- the park.
Looking in the rear view mirror, I saw my children, the warm sunshine bathing the tops of their heads. They were quiet, each engrossed in their current obsessions- one on the iPad, one on my phone.
The light turned green.
I went straight.