Just Keep Swimming and Forget the Boogers!

It’s inevitable. You get 30 or 40 snotty kids in a pool swimming laps, and there are bound to be boogers floating around. I distinctly remember dodging the nasty little things during countless hours of swim practice growing up. As disgusting as it was, it didn’t stop me. I loved swimming. It was who I was.

The older I get, the more those floating boogers gross me out. So I stopped swimming. And not just in pools. I don’t swim in oceans because a shark could bite off an appendage. And in the lake, I risk an amoeba entering my nose and eating my brain. That just leaves the bathtub. Flip turns are impossible there, so I’m out of luck.

So far this year, a calf injury, back issues and plantar fasciitis have made it difficult to do anything with impact. Swimming is an excellent exercise, especially for individuals with injuries. So, off to the pool I go to face my fears of those icky balls of snot.

Wearing my new reversible Speedo, I stand at the end of the lane and place goggles over my eyes. I take a deep breath and think of two things.

1.         I have the lane to myself. No snotty kids = less chance of floating boogers. They probably aren’t even there.

2.         If they are there, just keep swimming and forget the boogers. They are harmless (Thanks to chlorine!). The only way they can hurt me is if I think about them.

When I’m finished, I remember all the reasons why I love swimming. How could I have let something so trivial keep me from an activity I love dearly?

What “boogers” are keeping you from doing what you love or know is good for you?

Many people say they want to run or work out in the gym, but they fear people will judge them. They don’t want anyone to see them in their spandex worried people will laugh if they run slow. Or they are afraid someone will make fun of them in the weight room if they happen to use one of the machines wrong (for example, the triceps extension).

1.         People who see you running outside are thinking they should be out there, too. And others in the gym are focused on their own workouts, not you. They probably aren’t laughing or even looking at you.

2.         If someone does laugh, forget about them. The only way the opinions of others can hurt you is if you let them.

So keep swimming, keep running, tackle those weight machines and Forget the Boogers!!

Who Will Keep You Company?

In Shawshank Redemption, Andy Dufresne rebelled against the guards and was thrown into isolation for a whole month. When he emerged from “the hole,” he had a smile on his face. His penitentiary friends were confused. How could he be so happy after spending thirty days by himself with no human interaction?

Andy explained, “I had Mr. Mozart to keep me company.”

I often wonder if I were ever thrown into isolation, who would keep me company?

Would it be:

Candace constantly tattling on Phineus and Ferb?

Those Angry Birds flying all over the room?

Aqua singing “Barbie Girl”?

Snookie… doing whatever it is she does?

Or Negative Chatty Cathy from Bunko complaining about her MIL, the waitress at O’Charley’s and her ingrown toenail?

With that kind of company, I’d surely be crawling around the room trying to melt into that Yellow Wallpaper.

What if my company included:

James Taylor singing “In My Mind I’m Gone to Carolina,”

Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy dancing gracefully around the room,

Hummingbirds happily sipping their red-colored sugar water,

And Jesus sitting by my side engulfing me in his aura of Peace and Love?

Yeah, I could enjoy that kind of isolation.

Big Orange T

I was driving behind a truck today with four big orange Ts arranged on the tailgate. Cool! Another Tennessee fan! I wanted to connect with them, but how? There were no outside signs on the Explorer to show that I, too, was a Tennessee fan.

I could show them my purse across the lane. But the Ts were too small to see.

“Nice orange purse, crazy lady.”

I was wearing UT shorts. However, I was certain the police would be alerted if I stood up and pressed my butt against the window.

I could write “Go Vols” on a piece of paper and show it to them. A pen was nowhere to be found. I gave up.

We came to a stop light, and I looked over their way (cuz I’m nosy like that). The passenger smiled at me, waved and mouthed, “Go Vols!” I waved back, excited to make new friends through this sacred connection. But how in the world did she know I was a Tennessee fan, too? The light turned green and I was perplexed. Maybe it’s telekinesis or something. When your blood runneth orange, you instinctively recognize a fellow Vol Fan.

Stopping at the next light, I check the rearview mirror… And the mystery is solved! Staring back at me is the big orange T on my baseball cap, prominently displayed smack dab on my forehead.