Shiny, Happy?

Athens Jr. High auditorium: I have returned! As contestant #8 of the Jr. Miss Pageant, I glide up to the stage in a flowey, sparkling gown. "Libby Lingerfelt, McMinn County High School!" (But we're 38, what are we doing here?) Anyway... I join the other girls and turn to face the audience, beaming in all my gloriousness. I spot an ex-boyfriend. Bet you regret letting this one get away, don't you! ;0)
We leave the stage to prepare for our talents... My talent! Crap! I haven't practiced at all! That's okay, I'll fake it. They'll never know. I put on a white, K-Mart purchased dress and rush out to perform. I do like 20 lindys, shake my shoulders and smile, just knowing they are in love with my shining performance! You're welcome- kiss, kiss!
Exiting the stage, I rush to the dressing room and stop short in front of the mirror. The fluorescent lights penetrate the super thin fabric of my dress. The square shape of a dickey is revealed underneath, not unlike cousin Eddie's famous fashion faux pas. They had to have seen it on stage! How embarrassing! I have to leave and never return! Running out of the building, I hear people yell, "Come back!" "Don't leave, it's time for presence and composure!" " Where are you going?" "Mama, I'm hungry."
What? Oh, thank God that was a dream!
Making breakfast for my starving children, I can't shake the akward feeling of the dream.
So what was the purpose? All dreams have one, right?
Maybe it was saying I occasionally feel fake or artificial; that I'm afraid some sort ugliness underneath the shiny, happy smile will be revealed in a most public and humiliating way...
Or, it could just be a warning to never buy a white dress from K-Mart.

Epiphany

Lunch is over. Ford picks up his clean plate and dutifully places it in the sink, then heads for the playroom. Alice hops up, leaving her half-eaten dish on the table. She twirls out of the room, gracefully leaping over a pile of naked Barbies discarded in the middle of the foyer. I am left standing in the kitchen with the stark realization that Cliff and I have managed to produce carbon copies of ourselves. One organized, safety-conscious boy; one creative, free-spirited girl.

Like many other moms, I am the hardest on the child who is most like me. Her reluctance to clean her room or eat her vegetables makes me crazy. She never knows where her shoes are, and if there is something she really wants, she will push, and push, and push until I absolutely lose my mind! Right now my mother is reading this, nodding her head in agreement. “Yes, Elizabeth Jane, I feel your pain!”

Today is my birthday. It is also the Feast of the Epiphany, celebrated worldwide as the day the Magi reached baby Jesus. By offering valuable gifts to the child, they revealed to the world that this, indeed, was the Son of God. On this day, the most precious gift was “unwrapped” for all the world to receive.

Last week, I had another kind of epiphany. Researching a blog post (currently unfinished), I read something that absolutely filled me with joy. Leonardo da Vinci was known as a “chronic procrastinator!” Halleluiah, this is the best news I have heard in a long time! In 2010, 8.5 million art lovers visited the Louvre. No doubt, the Mona Lisa, the most popular painting in the world, was on their itinerary. Looking at the masterpiece, we see beauty, mystery and a sense of calmness Leonardo da Vinci was known for. What we can’t see with the naked eye are the many layers underneath the final work of art. It is believed that it took da Vinci around seven years to complete the captivating portrait, changing the position of her hands, possibly removing a bonnet. I supposed I’ve always envisioned great artists poised at their medium with confidence, completing their works of art in a timely manner. It never occurred to me that at any time they doubted themselves, changed their minds about what they were doing or felt disparage over their own lack of completeness. They had a gift and shared it with the world.

My entire life feels like an unorganized mess of unfinished projects; a folder of incomplete blog posts, piles of pictures I have yet to place in a scrapbook, bags of material ready to be sewn in creations not yet conceived, and a Personal Trainer test waiting to be scheduled. I berate myself for my laziness and lack of focus. What is my gift to the world?

Later in the afternoon, I pass by the playroom. Stacks of dolls, shoes and squinkies litter the floor. Upstairs I hear laughter. When I reach Alice’s room, two fancily dressed children come bursting out. “We’re having a fashion show!” They are dressed in tutus, gloves, and Mickey Mouse ears. Brother and sister bonding; a happy sight for any mother. That is Alice’s gift; imagination and a love for make believe. She is sharing it with her brother. One day, I have faith, she will share her gift with the world.

My epiphany is this. We are all born with the gifts God gives us. It may take time; days, months, years, and there may be many layers formed before our gifts are revealed. But they are there! Have patience and know that God has given us all our own special gifts, ready and waiting to be unwrapped for all the world to receive!