What If They Make Fun of Me?

It has begun. My daughter is only seven and already asking, “What if they make fun of me?” Understandably, I want to provide her with the armor she needs to protect her ever-developing ego. As much as Alice loves being on stage in front of large groups of people, I am certain there will be plenty of embarrassing situations ahead (as I type this, she is “singing” in the playroom… yep, she’s gonna get teased.)

So, I polled my wise friends on Facebook. “What are some books, quotes, etc. for building up my daughter’s sense of self, increasing her defenses against potential attacks on her character?”

Victoria said, “Be pretty when you can, witty if you must, but gracious if it kills you.” And “Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.”

Mary told her daughter, Karen, “Some children just do not feel good about themselves and have to say mean things to others.”

Debra quoted one of my favorite versus, Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Mendy is a fan of the great Dr. Suess, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Sue offered to send her son, Luke, to take care of anyone who was mean to Alice. Thanks Sue!

Krista advises her daughter, Keira, “Be friends with those who uplift you and make you feel good about yourself. If they don’t, they are not worth your time.” (Krista, I bet she gets it better than you think she does, even as young as she is.)

I also will be checking out some suggested books soon: Queen Bees and Wannabees, American Girl books, specifically The Care and Keeping of You and The Feelings Book and the Chrissa American Girl movie. Dr. Seuss’s Oh, The Places You’ll Go was the one book mentioned that we do have. We’ll be digging that one out.

Great advice from some very wise women. But will all this be enough for her?

A month or so ago, I was teaching a Boot Camp class. Let me just say, jumping jacks and a mother-of-two’s bladder do NOT mix! That’s right, I peed my pants. I tried to be subtle and take a look. No puddle (thank God!) but there was a big dark circle in the crotch of my hot pink running shorts. I stood there with my legs crossed in front of a large group of adults still doing jumping jacks and tried not to cry… It was not awkward at all… I thought about running away and never coming back, or I could just make a joke about it and get it over with… But maybe they hadn’t noticed yet (haha, yeah, right!) Instead, I sent them upstairs to the track to run a few laps, and then sprinted to the front desk. “Lynn, help!” What was she supposed to do? Dig out some replacement shorts from Lost and Found? Ewww. She tried to find something to wrap around my waist, but no luck. She reassured me it wasn’t too bad (good friends know when to lie), and I had no choice but to go back and face the music. As the group streamed down the stairs and back into the gym I had only moments to gather myself… “What if they make fun of me?” Somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain, a door opened, releasing a treasure trove of wisdom that had been carefully collected over the years. Words of advice and encouragement from some very important people in my life were right there for me in my time of need.

“In the grand scheme of things, this is really no big deal.”

“They are more worried about themselves than what’s going on with you.”

“Laugh about it. Don’t take yourself too seriously.”

“Toughen up. You have a job to do. Get it done!”

“You’re not alone. That’s happened to me, too.”

“You are a great instructor! It will all be okay!”

It was like having Mama, Daddy, Missi, Papaw, Angi and all the people who have ever loved me pick me up and get me through a potentially ego-damaging moment. With my “support team” by my side, I made it through the class. And no one made fun of my incontinence (at least not to my face). Now I know the next time I teach class I will be wearing the armor of supportive love and advice… along with a pair of dark-colored shorts.

Evidently, the careful guidance I received growing up from so many different people; parents, grandparents, my sister, coaches, teachers, and friends, was enough for me. I have to trust it will be enough for Alice.